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You know what to do.

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your decepticon pals or whatever sound like they're a little more heavily armed than these guys were
given how we wrecked their whole planet and all
i'm not discouraging some good old fashioned paranoia, but
anyway

the ants look fine
they're doing ant things
whatever that entails, idk

Yeah? You got something specific in mind?

i wont be surpirsed if we get shot down, is all im saying antails, thank u very much thanks for checkin

Well, my metabolic system will start to compensate once my fuel levels go down past a certain point. But it only works for a little while. I tend to get, um...kind of sluggish.

[ she waves a hand. ]

Anyway, I've never had any real fuel emergencies. The Cybertronians here have energon, but it's not exactly a surplus item here. Ratchet keeps some in our room so I can get to it more easily. But with all the Cybertronians on the ship, I don't think there's enough to be using it to power the engines.

I am no scientist, but it occurs to me that the actions of the Ingress may not be entirely random.

Yikes, talk about dashed hopes. Let a guy dream.

[ Tony doesn't actually seem all that choked up about the lack of energon supplies for him to play with, all things considered. (There's always the mail drop, after all.)

He tips his head toward the engines looming on the other side of the expansive engineering room. ]

It's just as well, because I don't think you'd wanna be chugging anything we put in those, anyway.

Random, no. I mean, we've already observed some patterns. An affinity for our cluster of universes, for example.

Precisely. So I would imagine the fact that we've landed here, in this of all possible universes, is not entirely random either. And should it happen again...

[ Snake would definitely define it as damage, given that it's essentially turns it into a bum arm for him. That would be an serious inconvenience for a civilian, but it's even worse for a soldier.

Surprisingly compliant, he turns the arm around with Tony's nudging, twisting and turning it to show off as much as he can. The flashlight's beam pierces through the glass, projecting prisms of light onto the floor. ]

Have a lot of people been coming to you with requests like this?

[ Snake would like to get an idea of just how many people have been affected. He doubts most people are going to be sharing this kind of thing on the MID, though. ]

there's a vulcan on the ship

[ that's it that's the whole text ]

holy shit but you're wrong
listen
there are TWO vulcans on this ship

[ NOT JUST ONE SPOCK. TWO. TWO SPOCKS. ]

one of them is the original, right?

[ damn. ]

confirm if it's really captain kirk as well

how are they real?

99% sure it's actually James T. Kirk
yes

i'm gonna go with 'Ingress bullshit' for 1000, Alex
tbh i'm just trying not to question a beautiful thing too hard

did your dvds bring them here?

[ LIKE SOME COSMIC SUMMONING BEACON he still needs to go up to one and talk to them. probably. just questions this beautiful thing because wow

w o w ]

who's alex and 1000 what

Not exactly like this, unless you count fixing some giant robot people and building dog-armor. The giant robot people aren't as sturdy as you might expect, incidentally.

[ Tony makes a non-committal 'huh' sound once he's done examining the arm himself - it is morbidly fascinating to see technology like this turned to perfectly crystalline glass - and sets the flashlight aside. ]

Your turn, J.

[ He says this to seemingly no one, but turns his wrist around so that the MID is facing Snake's arm, and starts recording on a video feed. ]

I can have him produce a schematic to run simulations on. Shock-absorption is obviously the most important thing, but we don't want it putting any additional pressure on these components, either. I don't know if you got the 'diamond-strong destroyer of drill-bits' glass or the 'sneeze and it turns to fairy dust' glass, and I don't feel like finding out.

Yeah, lemme stop you right there.

I'm gonna need a drink before I continue following this train of thought.

don't mention it
you can thank me by naming one of them after me
pick the smartest one

oh my god
you need to work with me here

[ HE IS NOT EXPLAINING JEOPARDY RIGHT NOW. ]

but if my dvds really brought them here, i'm gonna need to formally apologize for all the rude shit i've said about how obsolete and pointless dvds are

Does your armor do anything other than fly?

[No greeting or anything like that. What a rude child.]

I mean, does it come with a gun or a sword or anything?

[ Not as sturdy as they'd expect, huh? ] I'll have to keep that in mind. [ Snake says it half under his breath as his mind shifts in an entirely different direction. If things come to a head with a Tarn, he should really make sure he's got some heavy-duty weaponry on hand. Maybe he should ask Niko to lend him a few RPGs after all...

The mention of some unseen "J" jerks Snake out of his robot-destroying thoughts and he raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to one side as he watches Stark's MID record.

Fine, he'll just ask. ] Him?

—And yeah, I don't have any plans to find out either. [ Hence why he'd gone to Tony in the first place, but shock absorption seems like a good place to start. ]

I fail to see how that is going to help you in any way.

I'd say "watch me", but I just remembered the bar is gone.

Talk about a nightmare.

[ A prim British voice floats up from the MID, answering that question. ]

JARVIS, Mr. Snake.

[ Tony rolls his eyes at "Mr. Snake", what the fuck, but doesn't actually offer anything about reptile fetishes right now. Novel. ]

Homegrown AI. He does the heavy lifting so I can do the delicate, tediously intricate lifting.

We need to talk. [ If it sounds urgent, it's probably because it is. ]

my answer to that depends entirely on why you're asking

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