( savrou ) ic contact

[arcreact]

// outbox;
→ 10/27; tali'zorah
→ 10/21; marian hawke
→ 09/21; adrien arbuckal
→ 09/21; nathan drake
→ 08/15; marian hawke
→ 08/01; bruce banner
→ 07/11; elena fisher
→ 07/07; trish walker
→ 06/21; adrien arbuckal
→ 06/20; bruce banner
→ 06/20; bucky barnes
→ 06/19; elena fisher
→ 06/15; steve rogers
→ 06/08; bruce banner

text | video | audio

You know what to do.

Comments

My version of shitposting

[prorenataa]

[ For the most part Adrien could be found in the medical tent; working. Were it up to him, that's where he'd been constantly, throwing himself into his work as a way to ignore all the personal shit that wanted to bubble up.

Unfortunately the extent of his injuries, even in the wake of Elena's excellent medical care, meant that he just physically couldn't do it. So every so often he found a small nook or craney to stuff himself in and sleep for a bit.

Oddly enough, even though the idea of a 'shared' room was effectively gone now, like a cat showing up where you last fed him, Adrien settled in the spot where Tony seemed to have alighted. Not that the Iron Man was doing much sleeping, that fact didn't escape the doctor but the space had Stark's signature all over it. So of course that's where the doctor curled himself up in some blankets and sacked out.

For the record he missed the swinging beds. Not that he couldn't sleep on the ground in a small bundle of blankets but he did appreciate a mattress. Ah well. Courser was curled up on the ground next to his companion, his colorful tail folded across his nose and his ears alert for any sounds out of the ordinary. Stark moving about was not considered out of the ordinary.

At one point, when Adrien was balled up and doing his best to make a pillow out of a rock, Tony would return to find a piece of paper tacked somewhere he couldn't ignore it. Trying to find time to actually talk, with both of them busy running like hell while standing in place, was near impossible.

Besides, sometimes writing and reading, were easier than sitting and talking. ]

Well that sucked.

I'm writing this because trying to do this as a conversation would be painful for both you and me and I think we've had enough painful. But don't imagine that I can't see what you're doing to yourself.

We took a gamble. We ... repeated after me ... WE took a gamble. This isn't on you and I know you want to take it, because that's what you do in that never ending quest to find what we both know we'll never receive. I was told once, that in trying to take it all on myself I was being a little arrogant; thinking the universe rose and fell on the strength of my decisions alone.

Yeah, I still struggle with that shit, but the words made an impact when I heard them.

If we'd done nothing, we would be on a ship that was already decaying around us. We would have been facing an unknown contagion that risked the crew and an even riskier attempt to resolve it. We were in the frying pan.

So we took a gamble; and now sure ... it looks like we're in the fire and some of us are dead, and no I can't promise you they're coming back. I can't even figure out how to manage the cryo units; which remind me to dig out the anti-grav units. That's how we'll move them.

Sorry, my thought process still gets muddled.

I can't promise you anything, Tony. Did we do right? Did we do wrong? I know how it looks at the moment and it sucks, but we're here and the only direction we have is forward, and if you suggest that I wrote any of this next bit I will fucking shoot you in the knee.

You're mad at yourself right now so these words may not mean shit to you but you need to understand that you saved my life. I was going to die in that cargo bay, the Scourge (that's what they're called by the way) were there to kill me and they weren't going to stop.

I owe you my life and my gut tells me that I'm not the only one on the crew who owes you that debt.

It's going to be hard for a bit, harder than it was and I can understand if you're done with it. You want to be angry at yourself, alright we seem to have some time while we shake off this bad landing, by angry. Be angry, be furious, be ready to throw in the towel and fold up inside where it's ... safe. I wouldn't blame you, especially as I suspect you're in a very dark and lonely place right now.

But while you're doing that to yourself, when you stop to take a breath, I hope you'll remember that you're not alone.

We need you, Tony; I need you.

Okay, reading time over now. Please destroy this so we can purposeful forget to acknowledge it when I wake up.

AA